It's always darkest before it goes
Completely black
I'm older now so I should know
You never can look back
But the scars of childhood memories
Dominate my head
The inner pain I've vowed to keep
Until the day I'm dead
You can't see, the life I was forced to lead
What it's like to die daily
You can't feel, the thoughts I've learned to steal
Survival is my reality
When I was young I lived in fear
The hands of doom forever drawing near
I wonder how I learned to persevere
As time advanced deceit was my life's truth
Spurred on by the peace I never knew
(chorus)
Time does not heal
The scars that burned me in my youth
Time does not heal
The pain that carved in me the truth
Time does not heal
The torture struck upon my past
Time does not heal
The scars that were left and meant to last
Over the many years I've tried
To bury deep my past
Attempting to cope with what's inside
My wastelands of regret
But defeated before I began
To join the human race
Indelibly I've felt the brand
Of scars I can't erase
I was the fool, subversive and overrulled
Into my abyss I was pulled
The ways of hate, constantly agitate
The scars as they'd eviscerate
Inside my head desolation forms
Shadows grasping my mind through its storm
I couldn't see that I was being forewarned
That anguish was to take my life's controls
And rake it's wounds forever into my soul
(chorus)
Time does not heal
The scars that burned me in my youth
Time does not heal
The pain that carved in me the truth
Time does not heal
The torture struck upon my past
Time does not heal
The scars that were left and meant to last
(bridge)
I have learned to live alone, it's meant to be
Endless lies and emptiness fulfilling me
Life's there to decieve the truth you'll never see
Understand that I am dying to be free
Images have haunted me since I was young
Chilling were the arms of fear I was among
What were once just nightmares now have since become
Real atrocities which I can't escape from...
(lead-Eric)
(lead-Brett)
It's always darkest before it goes
Completely black
I've realized now that it's impossible
Surviving their attack
Through duress I'm borne, a past that's brought me scorn
And when I'm dead, will I be mourned?
The scars I've worn, the mental flesh I've shredded and torn
(chorus)
Time does not heal
The scars that burned me in my youth
Time does not heal
The pain that carved in me the truth
Time does not heal
The torture struck upon my past
Time does not heal
The scars that were left and meant to last
				

Chains shackle me
With truth I'm face to face
Backed up in between
A damp cage I remain
In the cell of numb despair
The chill engulfs my veins
There's only one notion that I revere
The only truth in life is pain
It levels and crushes at its free will
My doomed fate will soon be sealed
(chorus)
Pain's invention, madness
Preys behind my eyes
Pain's invention, madness
Now I realize
Pain's invention, madness
Though I'll not break free
Pain's invention, madness
Truth eternally
Beyond my grasp is a life
That I will never attain
Happiness, joy, not in sight
Supplanted by truth's dark reign
Physical, mental agony shows
Along which my life revolves
Either you feel it, or you don't
There are never lies involved
Clutching to my abnormality
Hand in hand with destiny
(chorus)
Pain's invention, madness
Preys behind my eyes
Pain's invention, madness
Now I realize
Pain's invention, madness
Though I'll not break free
Pain's invention, madness
Truth eternally
(bridge)
When you are pumping full of life
The one sensation that you have
Can penetrate through love or hate
Existence on a higher plane
In death and life, both the domains
Surrender totally to pain
I slip and claw and scream
It calls
Leave me alone with me
It yearns
I'm bleeding from my brain
It needs me
I'm helpless, trapped behind
Its walls
Tearing apart my mind
It burns
Upon my naked soul
It feeds
Streams of consciousness fill the page
As my nerve endings scream in rage
Deliver me to the darkest age
As DeSade sits at center stage
My flesh is but a portal now
To wisdom and truth I am avowed
Pain's invention, madness
Pain's invention, madness
Twisting through the door
Am I nevermore?
My breath I can feel
Therefore I am real
I've succumbed to there heinous sins
And I'll never be forgiven
Shackled and bound, my new life I've found
And I've tasted the fruits forbidden
I've craving more
Of pain's overtures
Liberation is near
And I have nothing to fear
In this journey of self-discovery
I have found the keys to be set free
In this wicked course, I've uncovered the force
That will keep me vital eternally
(chorus II)
Pain's invention, madness
The force that preys behind my eyes
Pain's invention, madness upon me
Pain's invention, madness
It takes this long to realize
Pain's invention, madness, has set me free
(lead-Brett)
(Repeat Chorus II)
Transcendency
Of mere mortality
Tortured infliction
Is now my addiction
Constant agony
Has created me
I am suffering
Through this atrocity
I'm not blind to what I might find
Squirming way down deep inside my labyrinthine mind
Inhibitions removed, replaced with scar tissue
And I'm punished with blades of my lobotomizing suit
I've sought this dream
In its violent extreme
Now my pleasure is clear
Though the lesson's severee
My will is strong, but I could be wrong
This new doctrine for which I've been searching all along is
The religion of truth through administration of pain
The body only takes so much before it drives the mind insane
As a matter of fact, my friend
I've come to my bitter end
It's not a torture rack I'm in
Though I can still pretend
It's a jacket of white with buckles and straps
Not a pleasure device at all
It keeps me safely under wraps
While I'm chained to this padded wall
hear my cries...
you'll never know
				

Emotions are easily spent, twisted and forever bent.
When fixations are not returned the lines are so quickly obscured.
(chorus)
When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain.
At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession.
You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained.
My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition.
Held before my eyes though distant enough to be seen,
If I were to pull it too close, I'd blur it to its full extreme.
I'm barren of anything else,
A lunatic's need to possess you.
(chorus)
When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain.
At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession.
You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained.
My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition.
Rational thought
Has vanished and fled for its life.
The one goal after which I've sought
It's upon your fear that I thrive.
(bridge)
When written words are now legible,
The story can be told.
But when they're thrust too close to my eyes,
They become a blindfold.
And it's then reality,
Fades into obscurity.
Then I find that my mania is out of control.
I tighten the grip on my obsession, but I can't be consoled.
Now it's made me dangerous
To all but you I'm oblivious.
(lead-Eric)
(lead-Brett)
Distortions, perverse and unfair, you're threatened as I dominate.
You need me, so why are you scared? From my grasp there is no escape.
(spoken)
Don't you ever think of leaving me.
You are mine until I set you free.
The pain you feel is of no consequence.
Many suffer, few survive...
I'm not one with whom to be toyed, your mind easily I'll destroy.
Enforcing my supremacy, accept me, I'm your destiny.
(chorus)
When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain.
At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession.
You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained.
My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition.
				

History's shown you that answers can't be found above.
Life's great questions are tackled only by us.
Knowledge of mysteries that puzzle your learned men of the cloth.
We've explanations that men of God can't fathom.
Searching for your destiny
In a book that's not reality.
We solve the the Earth's problems
Through our science and technology.
Look back one thousand years when science was in its infancy.
The church had the word, the world was forced to heed.
How many times they led astray, their flock was shown no mercy.
"It's God's will," not good enough, minds were closed ignorantly.
We are here to shed the light,
And your "Savior" is powerless to fight.
You must realize that your theology is wrong
And we are right.
Accept it for it's proven,
And the truth is for all to see.
Scientifically we'll answer any question there could be.
(chorus)
Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities.
Can't you see that we are your new priesthood?
Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity,
Recoginize that we are your new priesthood!
Religious dogma that's confused and shackled you.
Searching through the good book not knowing what's the truth.
You're only innocent, raised servile and unaware.
Unconversant to what is really out there.
Humanity must be erudite but not only from books should it gain
insight.
Through practice of sound philosophy comes cognizance of Man's own
plight.
This you won't find in your church or your faith,
Though science has always attempted to explicate.
(chorus)
Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities.
Can't you see that we are your new priesthood?
Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity,
Recoginize that we are your new priesthood!
(lead-Gene)
(bridge)
Intelligence is lacking in your realm.
That is why we've come to take the helm.
As you have seen, you cannot turn to God for the solution.
Mankind has thrust himself into a sick position, lack of vision.
To those who blanket and surround themselves with gullibility,
There will be severity.
Yet again we will achieve the answers because we are more than God.
As you kneel and pray,
Genuflect our way.
Try and feel your way
Without our guidance someday.
History's shown you that answers can't be found above.
Life's great questions are tackled only by us.
Knowledge of mysteries that puzzle your learned men of the cloth.
We've explanations that men of God can't fathom.
Searching for your destiny
In a book that's not reality.
We have solved the the Earth's problems
Through our science and technology.
We see the things that you can't find in your faith.
We are in command with men like Hawking leading the way.
(chorus)
Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities.
Can't you see that we are your new priesthood?
Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity,
Recoginize that we are your new priesthood!
				

A shadow, I prowl these decadent streets,
Perversion, degradation my soulmates.
An observer, I'm admist the innocent weak,
My fascinations are salacious and unchaste.
This netherworld of carnality is my existance,
I don't walk alone, for this is my home,
And my subsistence.
I silently drift through these darkened paths,
I'm a witness to human psyche in decay.
There's nothing here but burnt-out bodies and souls,
A breeding ground for the depraved.
I've plunged beyond the sickest depths of pruriency,
What is normal to me is far beneath what is seen as
mere "obscenity".
(chorus)
Can you feel the pain
Of these souls deranged?
Can you feel the pain
I have lived inside
These pathetic minds
And it's menacing
Psychosis
And lust is
So dangerous
Sexuality
At its most diseased
Has enslaved us...
I wish I could give you severe details,
But now's not the time nor the place.
I've sojourned through the vilest combat zones,
And been invovled in acts that are debased.
Virtuous lives are crushed in this malevolent den of thieves,
There's no escape from the abduction and rape
of virginity.
Scenic nightmares of brutal self-indulgence,
Nothing is sacred, especially life.
I completely share my amorality,
With the hookers and the hustlers that stalk the night.
Shocking, disgusting displays of human indignities,
Anything can be achieced in sexual iniquities.
(chorus)
Can you feel the pain
Of these souls deranged?
Can you feel the pain
I have lived inside
These pathetic minds
And it's menacing
Psychosis
And lust is
So dangerous
Sexuality
At its most diseased
Has enslaved us...
I've been seduced into this realm,
Why? I cannot say...
I've cleansed myself from all that's pure,
I've now incurred disgrace.
I can't put my finger on the attraction,
I'm not an anomaly.
In my domain of abomination,
Psychosexualuty...
I have a personal obsession with pain,
Dealing, receiving, to me it's the same,
It's a tragic game
Excruciation that goes unrestrained,
To others this pleasure may be insane,
Or at the least profane
Virgins forced to perform unspeakable deeds,
Immaculate youth placed in impurity.
The screams of pain, I have heard the screams
Of quiet exits, but forced entry.
Desperate souls of one accord,
With their lives in this sordid world
Women defiled for that vein-numbing fix,
Bestiality, this is sick.
Orifices committing disgust,
Grotesque forays into macabre lusts.
Why am I here? I've been drawn,
In this shameless world I belong...
(chorus)
Can you feel the pain
Of these souls deranged?
Can you feel the pain
I have lived inside
These pathetic minds
And it's menacing
Psychosis
And lust is
So dangerous
Sexuality
At its most diseased
Has enslaved us...
(lead-Brett)
(lead-Eric)
Men who pluck children from their families,
Teaching a man's "rules" to this younger breed.
To the black-market, parents sell their young under eight,
Anything older out here is too late,
Adolescence their fate...
Snuff films with their discreet mutiliations,
Anonymous fiends and confused, unwilling victims.
Desecrating unblemished bodies and minds,
Breaking and torturing, then ending their lives,
I have watched them die...
You've been given a glimpse of this pornographic scene,
Some of it scares me, all of it excites me.
This is my horrible, demented hell,
Once you're trapped down here I wish you well.
Why am I here? I've been drawn,
But honestly, do I belong?...
(chorus)
Can you feel the pain
Of these souls deranged?
Can you feel the pain
I've been trapped inside
These pathetic minds
And it's menacing
Psychosis
And lust is
So dangerous
Sexuality
At its most diseased
Has enslaved us...
				

Femininity, a sacred life
My goals and dreams achieved, or soon they might
Unintruded being, innocent
Young, with a hopeful future to be spent
I can't believe my idiocy
You came along with your invasion
Your act of violence not of lust
Upon me...
Racing through these darkened streets at night
Fleeing from this terror that haunts me
I am chosen, this can't be right
The pain that your thrust brings
(chorus)
I don't want your flesh
I'm not your whore
But you want my blood
I'm not a whore
Trapped down here inside
A nightmare that's become reality
A heinous violation
Of my humanity
Right before my eyes I see my world
Fractured so precise by one so cold
Through your veins run ice, I beg of thee
As I lie paralyzed please let me be
From within your soul I stare
I don't think I'll live to see this end
You'll reign eternally through my nightmares
If I ever sleep again
The hatred directed at me 'cause of what I am
Is as chilling as the defilement itself
I wonder, what kind of beast is man?
What emotions are and not felt?
(chorus)
I don't want your flesh
I'm not your whore
But you want my blood
I'm not a whore
I can't even comprehend
Why this act has come to be
Proven time and time again
The ultimate sadistic release
(bridge)
This violent form of incarceration
Trapped by savagery, helpless I lie
I refuse this indoctrination
Though you shatter this inner sanctum of mine
An ancient inherited shame
Bonding women and horror
Outlasting the boundaries of time
Enslaved forevermore
Inherent crimes
Through generations has become
A terror cycle....
You can't see me but you feel me
You only want what you don't understand
You can't have me so you take me
Forever scarred where you've stamped your brand
You look in my eyes and you tell me
What do you see?
Of this I'm deserving?
You can't see me but you feel me
You only want what you don't understhand
You can't have me so you take me
Forever scarred where you've stamped your brand
You need to crush me with your lividity
Does this make you feel more like a man
You can't have me, so you rape me
My innocence strangled by your hand
This must be necrophilia, for I am dead inside
Your violent misogyny, your strength drowns my cries
In shock, I'm crippled with disbelief
This can't be happening to me
Oh god, this hurts, I'm bleeding from friction
"Unconcious" I'm pleading to be...
You cannot imagine the anger I feel
Nor can you imagine the pain and despair
This double jeopardy soon happens again
When they scrape me for semen and hair
My mind is frozen with your face intact
This atrocity from which I haven't been spared
From now on, I'll only know lovemaking through
An act of intense terror
The malevolence which pours over me
You fill me with your rage
It's mortifying, diabolical,
Controlling through this stage
I struggle to cope with what's happening
I'm praying for my death
I've done nothing wrong, I've been victimized
So I'll pray for yours instead
The physical torment inflicted on me
Is insufferable but it doesn't compare
To your terrible criminal mentality
And the scars I'll forever bear
To live through this brutal show of force
Will cause me years of torment and grief
Awaiting this misery to run its course
As I scream out innocent pleas
(lead-Brett)
(repeat bridge)
This violent form of incarceration
Trapped by savagery, helpless I lie
I refuse this indoctrination
Though you shatter this inner sanctum of mine
An ancient inherited shame
Bonding women and horror
Outlasting the boundaries of time
Enslaved forevermore
I will force myself to carry on
And vengeance will be ultimately mine
If you are not imprisoned soon
By my hands you will die...
(chorus)
I don't what your flesh
I'm not your whore
But you wnat my blood
I'm not a whore
Through rape you've created me
A victim not above revenge
A churning, seething mass of hate
But you haven't conquered my soul
(lead-Eric)
				

Leading quiet lives of desperation, we maniacally cling to the unreal.
Life pursues its stranglehold, upon us, its pain revealed.
We, as a race, are frail and weak, crises leave us paralyzed.
We strain to deal with what's thrown at us, we're therefore
traumatized.
Really, I speak for no one but me,
And I am losing my grasp.
On that which I must call "myself",
This burden might be my last.
Stranded and sinking into remorse,
The darkest recesses of my mind.
The cavernous tyranny of pain and fear,
Is lunacy far behind?
(chorus)
I have dealt eternally with anguish,
I have learned to live with my distress.
From all this trauma comes profound catharsis,
And a way to cope with my life's bitterness.
Loneliness draped around my neck, in its sinister seduction.
I pray a light will come from this, my frightened introspection.
A lifetime of misery and its brethen, has depleted my reserves.
And this has brought me the true conclusion, *nothing* is what I
deserve.
My early involvement in sordid acts,
Has left me scarred for life.
The road I have taken, self-doubt intact,
Denigration is my wife.
Am I a slave to the powers that be?
Have I any inner strength?
Fleeting struggles of humanity,
I pontificate at length.
(chorus)
I have dealt eternally with anguish,
I have learned to live with my distress.
From all this trauma comes profound catharsis,
And a way to cope with my life's bitterness.
As an outcast, I've become inner-dependent, trapped in a world of
lies.
But now I must question my own self-worth, that leaves me demoralized.
Possessing fate of mental demons,
Surrounds my soul in these masses of pain.
Voices damning all of my thoughts,
Self-infliction capacities retained.
I'm not the only one in this world,
Who's suffered through emotional discord.
Intensities-caustic and penetrating,
Is it me I've spent all my life hating?
Thinking distorted emotions clouded,
By my personal asceticsm.
In condemnation I've been enshrouded,
Acetylene baptism.
(lead-Brett)
(lead-Eric)
(chorus)
I have dealt eternally with anguish,
I have learned to live with my distress.
From all this trauma comes profound catharsis,
And a way to cope with my life's bitterness.
I've expunged a multitude of, but sad to say,
Not all my doubts and fears.
But I look forward with trepidation,
And step with caution into my remaining years.
I am quite sure that in these words,
There's not much hope that things will ever change.
Maybe my time for suffering's past,
And I can vaguely hope for brighter days.
(chorus)
I have dealt eternally with anguish,
I have learned to live with life's distress.
From all this trauma came profound catharsis,
And a way to cope with my life's bitterness.
				

Potentially there's no safety
Inside these walls, I'm forced to be
Unprotected to cruelty
I'm not at my own mercy
The most important time in my life
Is governed by an unstable mind
On another I depend
My own life I can't defend
(chorus)
Will I survive?
To see the day arrive
When I am cast forth
And endangered nevermore
Incarcerated and force-fed
Your disparity a constant threat
Are you qualified to reign?
Is my destruction pre-ordained?
I am not a parasite
Will I be punished by your spite?
I await my destiny
And possibly your enmity
(chorus)
Will I survive?
To see the day arrive
When I am cast forth
And endangered nevermore
(bridge)
Completely under your dominion
I'm not here of my own volition, no
(lead-Brett)
(lead-Eric)
(chorus)
Will I survive?
To see the day arrive
When I am cast forth
And endangered nevermore
I'm locked away, a nonentity
Sacrificed by antipathy
My pleas aren't heard
So I'm tortured
It's perilous in this domain
And I'm dead if I remain
I pray that you
Don't cause my doom...
(chorus)
Will I survive?
To see the day arrive
When I am cast forth
And endangered nevermore
				

The psychological impact of a film that we all love,
It's negative imagery that preys upon our young,
How could we be so blind?
Now we step inside conceptually a different view,
And uncover the horror that we're injecting into
All our children's minds.
Born into a peasant monarchy,
A life of inherited luxury.
This newborn Prince with his silver spoon,
His life unfolds and will change soon.
His father, the King, is not ever around,
Never deigning to walk on his own son's ground.
A tragic young life spent in a broken home,
Looking forward to years of life alone.
(chrous)
Leading the life of hell,
His story, you know it well.
In death he'd finally be free,
Could this be what it seems to be?
As this Prince enters his first few years,
A menagerie known as his friends appears,
Misfits one and all.
One, who lives to create turbulence,
Another, who straddles an androgynous fence,
And we're not sure where he'll fall.
Minute is his contact with the outside world,
Unhardened to the likely peril it holds.
Until one day, with his mother, the Queen,
He's thrust into a ghastly scene.
Like animals, with weapons they're pursued,
By men with butcherous attitudes.
His mother, the victem of the "Thrill Of The Chase",
With a bullet, she loses this deathrace.
(chrous)
Leading the life of hell,
His story, you know it well.
In death he'd finally be free,
Could this be what it seems to be?
(bridge)
Then his woman is forced into
A precarious position and looks doomed.
Assaulted and raped by more than one
Members of a gang that are on the hunt.
Add to this the destructiveness
Of the fire that rages without rest,
Decimating his neighborhood,
Torching his land where his home once stood.
Brutal cinematic display, upon our children's minds it preys.
A subtle induction into horror, with implications we can't ignore.
Malevolence hidden behind doe-eyes, how many see through its disguise?
Burning itself into the minds it haunts,
Is this really what we want?
(chrous)
Leading the life of hell,
His story, you know it well.
In death he'd finally be free,
Could this be what it seems to be?
(lead-Brett)
(lead-Eric)