...oh, hey! What! Dave, is that you? Yeah? What day is it? Saturday. Saturday? What do
you mean, I've been in here a week? I have? I don't remember.... I did number four or five
the other week and I... you know, it was the other week, wasn't it? It's too f.... I was in here
for a couple of days then. Eh? What do you mean, stop pissing in the corner? Well if you'd
let me out of this f'king room I wouldn't have to piss in the corner, would I? You're lucky I
didn't take a laxitive or something like that! In fact I ain't had no nookie... I ain't had no...
none of the other, or anything like that for a week! ...(unintelligible)... Wot? I know, yeah
allright, I know Rod said "get it done, at any cost". Well there, that's going a bit too far, isn't
it. Oh, oh no.... tape's rolling! You... tosspot! Anyway! Well in that case, what'ho you lot out
there! Hah! Jesus, you heard that didn't ya? Eh? Well I'm sorry you had to hear all this
business, he started running that tape.... I've just been sitting in here on my own, being
variously.... twiddling various parts of the body, thinking about what's going on. And he's run
that fricking tape!
Welcome to Nicko's Not Alot Of People Know That, Part 7! You lucky, indespically
lucky, debauched! Oooooh, you've got your hands on Running Free, Sanctuary,Murders
in the Mooo Rooooga... oah, The Rue Morgue, all live! Not only that but you've got a
bumper package of serious songs.... live! Goodness! Released the 23rd of September 1985,
and they got to a chart position of number 19. Hmmm... Not alot of people remember that.
But, I do! Cause I played on them! Hah! Si! Now look, Murders in the Rue.... Oh by the
way, you've got on the other side of that lovely little package in your hands, you've got Run
To The Hills, Phantom Of The Opera, and Losfer Words, or in other words Big 'Orra!
Ah! Now, however you want to pronounce it, "BIG ORRA" or "big orra", you know, Losfer
Words will do. That little lot was released 2nd of December 1985, and it's chart position was
number 26. So stuff it again, where... you know where, or whatever you like. Put it where
you want, I don't care as long as you grease it first... very sore if you don't.
Now! The first two tracks, as we've said, Running Free and Sanctuary, were recorded at
Long Beach. And I was there, so was Dave, Adrian, Steve, and Bruce. Haha! Good job
too, or else we'd have had a piece of black vinyl! Mmmm. So. Now, these gigs we did were
at Long Beach, and they were all sold out. Mmm hmmm, the very first and only... well
maybe not only, but we were the first and only band at that particular point in time to sell out
four nights in a row at the Long Beach arena in Los f'king Angeles. Somewhere close
anyway, a stone's throw down the road. Nevertheless! Powerslave tour! Hmmmm. By the
way, Running Free... the photograph on the front of this single was by a man none other
than Ross Halfing. He upstaged Derek Riggs for this one. Riggsy, hmmm, he didn't do any
artwork cause Halfing did the photograph. And that, so the only shot of the band, live shot
on any one of the singles we've ever had and ever probably will. So, not alot of people know
that. Now you do, so! What a useless piece of trivia that is.
Nevertheless! Uhhh, yes, what was I saying? Uhh, Running Free, Sanctuary, Murders....
you lucky lot! As I said, Run To The Hills, Phantom, and Losfer Words. Two songs right
there, Murders and Losfer Words, you will not have heard anywhere else, even on the Live
After Death offering, because it is not recorded on the vinyl, CD, or video. Now you are
very lucky, double-bubble so, because you have got this stuff in your hands. Uuuh! Yes.
Talking of which, the fourth side of the Live After Death, Wrathchild, 22 Acacia Avenue,
Children Of The Damned, Die With Your Boots On, or whatever you like, and Phantom
Of The Opera. All on the extra fourth side, or... not on the extra fourth side, I mean you've
got two frigging albums you dummy, you've got two sides a piece, haven't you, you fool! I
mean, it's not like your going to have five sides to an album, is it? Silly billy... Anyway, fourth
side... only recorded on the album. Mmmm Hmmm! Good stuff!
Now, what can I say? You lot... you lot want to know a little story, something sort of about
the time we were making this Powerslave album. Or, we'd actually made the album, should
I say, and we were rehearsing the tour, you see, we were rehearsing for the tour in Miami.
Well, a place called Fort Lauterdale, which is just a stone's throw from this very sickly
horribly smelling disgustingly debauched studio I'm sitting in, talking to you from. Well, I was,
because it's recorded so you know... I did this a couple of... whenever it was... moons and
eons ago before this. So, just up the road from Fort Lauterdale. There we are. We were
rehearsing... or there we were... we were rehearsing and all of a sudden, all of a sudden just
like that, we get a phone call. You see. Lauren, I mean, I'm sorry... Lorraine, sorry Lorr.
Lorraine... 'Arry Harris, bomber Harris, Mrs. Bomber Harris, was expecting 'Arry Harris'....
Mrs. Bomber Harris' first nipper. You see! So! She was... the call of nature was coming and
descending rather swiftly, so Steve and I... poor old codger, he didn't want to fly all on his
own... you know he doesn't like flying, I dunno if I told you about that, he hates it doesn't he?
So, having all the experience of the (unintelligible) behind me, I said to Steve, "well look here,
why don't I come back with you?" I mean, I like a couple of weeks in Jersey.
So Steve and I flew out of Miami to London Heathrow, and it was a Sunday... well, it was a
Saturday when we left Miami, it was a Sunday morning when we arrived. So, we got
absolutely f'king smashed to smithereens on the plane, right! Get's off the plane, staggers
through customs, "Allright, excuse..." oh no, he says, (east Indian accent) "could you please
excuse me, would you come over here," this guy said to Steve Harris, and he's going... he
looked at me, he said "what did I f'king tell you?" He said, "I f'king tell you, everytime I go
through the f'king customs... I'm the straightest one out of the band, I don'f f'king smoke...I",
well he does drink, but uh, whatever. You know. (unintelligible)... all the fricking time,
Murphey's Law, there he is, custom's man.... "What, please... come over here please, where
have you just come from?" 'Arry's going, "Whoah look, f'king not that it's any of your
business!" Well no, he didn't say that but, I mean he shoulda done. And he would have
probably got in... got out of there quicker! Anyway, he didn't. So the guy said, "what do you
have in this here bag?" And 'Arry said, "it's a f'king video, what do you think it is, what does
it look like?" "Where did you get this from?" He said, "Oh, I f'king don't know, I got it in the
States somewhere." "Do you have a f'king reciept?" 'Arry said, "I f'king don't!" "Oooh,
goodness! I have you! You are nicked, at that proverbially up the creek shit with the paddle
now!" And I said, allright frigging what am I gonna do now? So he's standing there, an hour
and a half goes by! I'm... no, it wasn't quite an hour now, I lie, I kid you not though, it was
about one hour fifteen minutes, cause I timed him! You know, I dunno when I started, I
know I was pretty close. Because, as you know boys and girls, the liscensing laws in
England permit.... prevent you from having a liquid libation after two o'clock in the morning, I
mean in the afternoon... and the morning. But, we wanted to make it to the pub to have a pint
of real bear, because we'd been starved, we'd been eating them... drinking them poof drinks
down in Nassau, which I told you all about, remember? By the way, it was Nassau Bahamas
and not Jersey where the Traveller's rest was, see! So, there we were, standing at customs
an hour fifteen minutes. I said... he comes out, he going "I f'king don't believe this," he said,
"did you see what that geezer was asking?" I said "well, no, I just saw your feet underneath."
I kept looking, I thought they'd run away with him, I was gonna call out the dog's and
everything. You know, get on the phone with the lawyer... 'Arry's been arrested or
something. We could... he was standing there hour and fifteen minutes.
So we gets in the limo, mind you we got to go to Gatwick to get a plane to Jersey. So we
thought, we've got enough time to stop off in the proverbial boozer. So we said, yeah, fair
enough. So the limo guy's going "I dunno if you're going to make this," it was like 1 o'clock
when we left Heathrow. So I says, "Yes we will, if you put your boot to that... down to the
floor, we can get down to the pub." So we did, we got to the Devonshire Arms, just on the
(unintelligible) round-about, down there on the old A-4. So, we pops in there, had a quick
swift half... then it was a pint... then it was a pint and a half.... then it was two... they were all
in one pint glasses mind you. 'Arry's on the phone with the wife, "Got here allright," he says,
ten past one. So we, you know... twenty past two, hahaha, we got a four o'clock plane to
catch at Glas... at uh Glasgow, uuhh you wish... at Gatwick, see? Guy says, "I think you'd
better leave if you're gonna make the plane." I says, (drunken voice) "ok... can I take a beer
with us, gov'nor?" This guy, Michael and his wife, I don't know, they're not there anymore.
So he says, "yeah look, take one of these flaggons... one of them little flaggons, they've got
four and a half pints of beer in it, you know, little plastic jobs, take... carry that." So we got in
this car, proceeded to go to Gatwick. Got on the plane to Jersey, gets on the plane and
opens up this bottle, don't we. The pair of us, sitting right at the back of this 727, or
whatever it was, DC-9. There we are, gargling back the old liquid nectar. Girl comes up and
says "I'm sorry, you can't do that!" We said, "F'king too bad! Watcha gonna do, throw us
off?" She said, "I'll f'king have you arrested!" We said, "Go ahead! We're having our drink
anyway." We'd already finished half by this... we were 'faced!
Gets off at Jersey.... yes, you guessed it! God done over by customs, the pair of us, didn't
we? So there we are standing there, "Hello hello hello! What you been up to, you naughty
boys?" "We just had a couple of beers on the plane, gov'ner." "Yeah, well, that took you a
little bit of time to get pissed, it's only an hour flight..." "But we... we got on the plane in
Miami!" Hah! "Ok," he says, "let's have a look in your bags." So, we got turned over again.
That night, we carried on drinking, a whole 24 or 48 hours worth of boozing. 'Arry comes
home... I left, I threw the towl in at 12 midnight, I couldn't handle it. We went to this place
called Loberts in Jersey, man we got 'faced there, I mean we was gone when we got there.
So I've given... thrown the towel in at 12 o'clock. Harris came back, must have been about
half past two in the f'king morning, how he done it I've no idea. Five thirty, "oh God, gotta
have a word with the gov'ner on the big white telephone, I'll be back in a minute." Two hours
later, poor bloke he was green. I got up, I felt terrible, I says "Yeah, what's the matter with
you?" "What do you f'king think?" He said, "What do you think?" I said, "aah, you ain't too
well are ya?"
Three days later... three days later, this is the first week of July by the way folks. About three
or four days later... we must have got there around the 30th of June. Anyway, what a great
ending, Steve got rid of his hangover, he get's a phone call from the wife, "I'm having it! I'm
having it!" "Ok, I'll be right there!" Oh, he hops to the airport, gets on a plane, and uh, it was
July the 6th actually, not alot of people know that, but Lauren, his very first daughter... he's
got three daughters now... uh uhh and uhh and uhh... she was born, I don't know what time
in the day, but he got there allright and he was at the birth. And of course he's not looked
back... looked back ever since. So, there you go... there's a little story from that period of
time. I've got to go... I've got to go, I really do mean this, I've... (farting noise)... Jeez, I'll see