Welshman : "Apperently they were travelling abroad and they picked up some hitchhikers"
Surgeon : "Drill"
Man : "Oh Good!"
Wife : "Wake up you're dreaming"
Man : "What?"
Wife : "You're dreaming"
Man : "We were moving away from the border"
Wife : "Huh? What border? Go back to sleep"
Hells Angel: "Have a nice day"
Wife : "Huh"
Hells Angel: "Have a nice day"

We were moving away from the border
Looking for somewhere to sleep
The two of us sharing the driving
Two hitchhikers slumped in the back seat

Hitchhiker : "Hello"

I sneaked a quick look in the mirror
She gave me a smile
I said, "Is anyone hungry?
Should we stop for a while?"

So we pulled off into a layby
Her dress blew up over her head
I said, "Would you like to come with me?"
She said something foreign under her breath

And the sun shone down on her lovely young limbs
I thought to myself she's much too good for him
I lay down beside her with tears in my eyes
She said
				

So I stood by the roadside
The soles of my running shoes gripping the tarmac
Like gunmetal magnets

Fixed on the front of her Fassbinder fase
Was the kind of a smile
That only a rather dull child could have drawn
While attempting a graveyard in the moonlight

But she was impressed
You could see that she thought I looked fine
And when she turned sweeter
The reason between you and me was
She'd just seen my green Lamborghini

So we went for a spin in the country
To feel the wind in our hair
To feel the power of my engine
To feel the thrill of desire

And then in the trees I heard a twig snap
Warning lights flashed on my map
I opened my eyes and to my surprise

There were Arab with knives at the foot of the bed
Man : "Watch out!"
Right at the foot of the bed
Arab : "Don't cut the woman Mohamed, I want the woman"

Oh my God, how did they get in here?
I thought we were safe home in England
She said, "Come on now kid, it was wrong what you did
You've got to admit it was wrong what you did
You've got to admit it was wrong."

Man : "Oh God....Jesus"
				

Sleep, sleep
I know that I'm only dreaming
Man : "Leave her alone..get out..out..get out of my house"
Through closed eyes
I see West German skies on the ceiling

And I want to get back
To the girl with the rucksack
To feel her flaxen hair
I want to be there

See the sun going down
Behind Krupps steelworks
On the outskirts of some German town

Mein Host : "Gutten Abend meiner Damen und Herren Ha Ha Ha Ha
Willcommen in Konigsburg Ha Ha Ha Ha
Wollen zie danzen mit mir oder drinken Mehr Ha Ha Ha"

Thank you but this young lady and I
Will just finish this bottle of wine
It was kind of you but
I think we'll just say goodnight

Man : "Leave us alone"

Goodnight

Man : "Leave us alone"

Man : "Could I have the key to one four three please?"
Room Clerk: "There you are"
Man : "Thank you, goodnight"
Room Clerk: "Goodnight Sir"

Man : "Hello yes I'd like to order breakfast please
I'd like coffee for two, and toast with marmalade
No...marmalade" 
				

For the first time today
I held her naked body next to mine
In this hotel overlooking the Rhine
I made her mine

Ooh babe
Ooh babe
Come with me and stay with me
Please stay with me

Wife : "Uh...what is it?"

Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me

Wife : "No...I'm sleeping"

Stay with me

Wife : "Forget it"
				

Hey girl
Take out the dagger
And let's have a stab at the sexual revolution

Hey girl
Let freedom for all be our rallying call
Tomorrow lets make our new revolution

Yeah, but tonight lie still
While I plunder your sweet grave
And remember
Only the poor can be saved

Hey girl
As I've always said I prefer your lips red
Not what the good Lord made
But what he intended

Hey girl
Don't point the finger at me
I am only a rat in a maze like you
And only the dead go free

So please hold my hand
As we blunder through the maze
And remember
Nothing can grow without rain

Don't point
Don't point your finger at me

I awoke in a fever
The bedclothes were all soaked in sweat
She said "You've been having a nightmare
And it's not over yet."

Then she picked up the doggy in the window
The one with the waggly tail
And she put him to bed
Between two bits of bread 
				

I just cowered in the corner
My pyjama coat over my head
And she smiled as she finished her sandwich
And her cold eyes fixed me to my dark history

As she brushed the remains
Of our love from the bed

And when she had turned back the covers
When all of the prayers had been read
She says, "Come on over here you silly boy
Before you catch your death of cold
I was only joking

Let's leave behind the city grime
Let's not compete
It could be fine in the country
Couldn't it though
Come on let's go"

I said, "Okay."

Jade : "Are we going to go now?"
Man : "Where would you like to go darling?"
Wife : "Mmm...Vermont...Wyoming (yes)"
Man : "Wyoming...uh huh, Children!"
Justin : "What?"
Man : "We're going to Wyoming
Darling...Which way is Wyoming?"
Wife : "Hook a right here
You're going the wrong way"
Man : "I know that,
I know children...
Let's see how many Volvos we pass
On the way to our new life in the country
...One"
Wife : "Jade don't do that, that's really negative" 
				

As cars go by I cast my mind's eye
Over back packs on roof racks
Beyond the horizon
Where dream makers
Working white plastic processors
Invite the unwary
To reach for the pie in the sky
Go fishing, my boy

We set out in the spring
With a trunk full of books about everything
About solar devices
And how nice natural childbirth is

We cut down some trees
And trailed our ideals
Through the forest glade
We dammed up the stream
And the kids cooled their heels
In the fishing pool we'd made

We held hands and we exchanged bands
And we practically lived off the land

You adopted a fox cub
Whose mother was somebody's coat
You fed him by hand
And then snuggled him down
In the grandfather bed while I wrote

And we grew our own maize
And only occasionally went into town
To stock up on antibiotics
And shells for the shotgun that I kept around

I told the kids stories
While you worked your loom
And the sun went down sooner each day

*Man : "Chapter six in which Eeuore has a birthday
And gets two presents" (Man pauses to light joint)
Jade : "Daddy...come on dad"
Men : "Eeyore the old grey donkey stood by side
Of the stream and he looked at himself in the water
"Pathetic" he said,"That's what it is"
"Good morning Eeuore" said Pooh

"Oh" said Pooh, He thought for a long time

The leaves all fell down
Our crops all turned brown
It was over
As the first snowflakes fell
I realised all was not well in the camp

The kids caught bronchitis
The space heater ran out of diesel
One weekend a friend from the East
Rot his soul, stole your heart

I said, "Fuck it then
Take the kids back town
Maybe I'll see you around"
She said, "Okay"

And so leaving all our hopes and dreams
To the wind and the rain
Taking only our stash
Left our litter and trash
And set out on the road again
On the road again

On the road again
On the road again

Jade : "Bye Bye Daddy, Bye Daddy"
Justin : "You can bring Pearl she's a darn nice girl
But don't bring Liza" 
				

For the first time today
I feel it's really over
You were my everyday excuse
For playing deaf, dumb and blind

Who'd have ever thought
This was how it would end for you and me
To carry my own millstone
Out of the trees

And I have to admit
I don't like it a bit
Being left here beside this lonesome road

Lonesome road
Lonesome road
				

Truckdriver : "Hey kid, you looking for a lift?...Get on up here
How's it going good buddy?"

I nailed ducks to the wall
Kept my heart in dark ruins
I built bungalows all over the hills
Dunroamin, duncarin, dunlivin

Took my girl to the country
To sleep out under the moon
Next thing she's going crazy

Trucker :"Women are like that kid
What the hell can you do?"

She waits for the real Mr. Right to come
Gently removing her heart
With his promises of real communication

Trucker :"I saw a program about that on TV......"

Who's always picking up the tab
Who built a bungalow for his mum and dad
Me

Who took you out to all the shows
Who worked his fingers to the bone
Me
While you were asleep

Man :"It was me...I did"

I kept you in buttons and bows

Man :"Christ all those clothes"

So you could encourage this creep
With his neat feet
And his clean fingernails
With his wise but twinkling eyes
He's a rock standing out in an ocean of doubt

Trucker :"Get moving, get off the road ya Goddamn faggot"

And compromise

I'd like to go on with this bit of a song
Describing this schmuck
I'd like to go on
But I'm gonna throw up

Trucker :"Not in my rig you don't boy...get the hell out of here"
				

An angel on a Harley
Pulls across to greet a fellow rolling stone
Puts his bike up on its stand
Leans back and then extends
A scarred and greasy hand, he said

Hells Angel : "How ya doin bro?...where ya been?...where ya goin?"
Then he takes your hand
In some strange Californian handshake
And breaks the bone

Angels Moll : "Have a nice day"

A housewife from Encino
Whose husbend's on the golf course
With his book of rules
Breaks and makes a 'U' and idles back
To take a second look at you

You flex your rod
Fish takes the hook
Sweet vodka and tobacco in her breath
Another number in your little black book

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
Oh babe, I must be dreaming

I was standing on the leading edge
The Eastern seaboard spread before my eyes
"Jump" said Yoko Ono
"I'm too scared and too good looking" I cried

"Go on," she says
"Why don't you give it a try?
Why prolong the agony
All men must die"

Do you remember Dick Tracy?
Do you remember Shane?
Joey :"And mother wants you"
Could you see him selling tickets
Where the buzzard circles over
Joey :"Shane"
The body on the plain

Did you understand the music Yoko
Or was it all in vain?
Joey :"Shane!"
The bitch said something mystical "Herro"
So I stepped back on the curb again, wooh

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
Oh babe, I must be dreaming again

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
				

Waitress :"Hello...you wanna cup of coffee?"
Trucker :"Hey...Turn the fucking Juke Box down"
Waitress :"I'm sorry, would you like a cup of coffee?
OK you take cream and sugar? Sure."

In truck stops and hamburger joints
In Cadillac limousines
In the company of has-beens
In bent-backs
In sleeping forms on pavement steps

In libraries and railway stations
In books and banks
In the pages of history
In suicidal cavalry attacks

I recognize
Myself in every stranger's eyes

And in wheelchairs by monuments
Under tube trains in commuter accidents
In council care and countercourts
At Easter fairs in sea-side resorts

In drawing rooms and city morgues
In award winning photographs
Of life rafts in the China seas
In transit camps, under arc lamps
On loading ramps
In faces blurred by rubber stamps

I recognize
Myself in every stranger's eyes

And now from where I stand
Upon this hill, I plundered from the pool
I look around, I search the skies
I shade my eyes, so nearly blind

And I see signs of half remembered days
I hear bells that chime in strange familiar ways
I recognize
The hope you kindle in your eyes

It's oh so easy now
As we lie here in the dark
Nothing interferes, it's obvious
How to beat the tears
That threaten to snuff out
The spark of our love 
				

Then the moment of clarity
Faded like charity does
Sometimes

I opened one eye
And I put out my hand just to touch your soft hair
To make sure in the darkness that you were still there
And I have to admit
I was just a little afraid

Ooh yeah

But then
I had a little bit of luck
You were awake
I couldn't take another moment alone