[Intro]
				

Have sex (yeah!)
With every female of the species he say
The end is near (yeah!)
So don't you worry about the hiv
Get drunk (yeah!)
Till you puke all over the floor
We're gonna die tomorrow
So let's get hammered like never before
Yeah!

The clock is runnin' down, you see
You gotta do the things you wanna do
Bone your step-sister
Grab her by the horn
Find some horny cougars
And shoot some cougar porn, baby

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

Make love (yeah!)
With a sheep, or cow or a goose
I know your wondering what it feels like
So take off your pants and get loose
Get crazy! (yeah!)
Rob a bank or hijack a plane
We got nothin' (yeah!)
We got nothin' to lose
So get balls out retarded insane, yeah!

Time is runnin' out you say
You gotta try the stuff you wanna try
Multijump from a 747
Poke a silverblack gorilla in the eye
Yeah!

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

The end of the world is comin'
What are we gonna do?
The end of the world is comin'
You should be comin' too!

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Tomorrow is the end of the world
Tomorrow is the end of the world

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

Let's all party (cum into your anus!)
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
(Hop on my doggy now!)
Party freakin' hardy (ahhh yeah!)
Like tomorrow is the end of the f'n world!
Tomorrow is the end of the world!
Hey, hey, hey!
				

I saw her drinking beer
Eatin peanuts by the bar
I was pretty desperate and I knew she had a car
She said her name was Debbie
She was a friend Jenny Creggs
She had boobs like water melons and breathe like rotten eggs
I know your hungry
I can see it in your eyes
Cause your looking at me like I'm a side of fries
I want to take your chubby ass back to my place
And squirt my baby gravy all over your face Yeaaahh!!!

Woooooah woooooah
Thar she blows

Woooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Fat girl
She everthing I wanted and more
Fat girl
She can't fit through the door
Woooooah woooooah
Thar she blows

I want to prove to you my feelings are for really
So I'm going to buy you a million happy meals yeah
I won't joke about your body if you only let me in
I want to sink my summer sausage into that double chin yeaaaahhhhh

Wooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Wooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Fat girl
Is riding my jock again
Fat girl
Is snacking on my cock againnnnnnnn
(ouch don't bite)

[Guitar solo]

My friends keep telling me I must be going blind
Cause you got cottage cheese all over your behind yeeahhh
Even though some people point and laugh at us
You can kick their ass cause your bigger than a busssssssssssss

Fat girl
I can't believe your eating again
Fat girl
Where does your neck begin

Wooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Fat girl
Put my hotdog into your heart
Fat girl
Your really really tons of fat

Wooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Wooooah wooooah
Thar she blows

Your my fat fat girl
You know I really love you
Cause you my fat fat girl

Woahhh
Come here baby where you going
(mooooo)
Your a cow
Come here baby hey
I love you
Ican't live without you
I can't live without you
Come here
Come here

[animal noises]

Its like a jungle in my apartment dude look at all those hot bitches and that one fat girl
				

If you really really really really love me
Then you really really really gotta show me
Don't whine when I put it in your booty
Or if I'm up all night playing Call of Duty
Never hassle me because I'm unemployed
If I sleep all day don't get annoyed
Then I'll know that you really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me

If you really truly want to make me feel nice
Make it so I don't ever have to ask twice
Let me have the keys to your Mercedes
Don't get mad when I bring home some ladies
If I get fat and look like an egg
Lie to me, tell me I'm in great shape
Then I'll know that you really really really
Really really really love me

If you wonder what I did with the rent
Just consider it money well spent
I bought trunks and a new surfboard
So just go tell your dumb landlord
That you love me
You really really love me
If I have sex with your friend Melanie
Don't act like it's some kind of felony
It's not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me
Just be happy that I'm hung like a horse
And you get to ride the pony of course
'Cause I'm really really really really really really
Really really fond of you too

When you think it's really suckie girl
All your friends will say 'you lucky girl'
You got a man who's hot you say
All the girls wanna be with me
'Cause they love me
They really really love me
Yes they do

If you really really really really love me
You'd never make me hang out with your family
Your mum sucks and your dad really hates me
When I try to borrow money he berates me
So Molly thinks that I'm too old for you
'Cause you're 19 and I'm 52
He can't see that you really really really really really really love me
You really really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me
				

[VERSE]
There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance.
There's a hole in the wall where you put your cock and balls.
But you never really know who's sucking on the other side.
Is it a boy or a girl, or a lady-man hermaphrodite?

[CHORUS]
Honey I don't wanna know,
Who's sucking my dick today.
I'm going to the Glory Hole,
Gonna spend my weekly pay.
Dream about virgin tits, (?)
While the beast greases up my pole. (?)
Gonna blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.

{VERSE]
I know a place down the street just behind Mickey Dee's,
Where the thing behind the hole really aims to please.
Where the (...) is all they need to get a job well done,
It doesn't matter if it's Tommy Lee or Attila the Hun.

[CHORUS]
Baby! I don't wanna know,
Who's sucking my cock tonight.
I'm going to the Glory Hole,
Gonna fuck it with all my might.
In my head it's Jessica Biel,
I don't care if it's a fucking troll.
Gonna blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.

[BRIDGE]
Come give your cock a chance,
No need for romance.
Come soil your pants,
At the Glory Hole.
Come get what you need,
Do the dirty deed.
Deposit your seed,
At the Glory Hole.

Feel somebody new,
At the Glory Hole.
Fill someone with goo,
At the Glory Hole.
No one judges you,
At the Glory Hole.

[CHORUS]
I don't wanna know,
Who's sucking my dick today.
I'm going to the Glory Hole,
Gonna spend my weekly pay.
Dream about virgin tits, (?)
While the beast greases up my pole. (?)
Gonna blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.
Blow my load at the Glory Hole.

Oh baby here I come!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh fuck!!
				

You said you wanted to open up the doors to our bedroom
You said my cock was nice but left a little too much headroom
So I called some of the boys and I set it up
How was I to know you'd regret it, oh
There was so much love on your face
I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face
Neither the boys nor I could see your tears
I said it would turn me on
To watch you get fucked
By nine or ten guys
When you said you banged the
football team your freshman year
I was slightly surprised
But as I started letting out the dog in me
You flipped the switch and went back to monogamy
There was so much love on your face
I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face
Neither the boys nor I could see your tears
We can't stop now it's moving too fast
There's a nine inch cock in your pussy ten and a half in your ass
Dongs in each hand so hold on tight
When we all bust a nut I'm gonna make it right tonight
There was so much love on your face
I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face
Neither the boys nor I could see your tears
There was so much love
So much love on your face
There was so much, so much love
So much love on your face
There was so much, so much love
Sticky, gooey jizz on your face, yeah
Oh, your stupid sticky face
We're gonna give you our love
There was so much love on your face
I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face
Neither the boys
Nor I could see the tears
				

Why in a world of ugly faces
should I, be allowed to be so hot
So many people without talent
yet I was born with all the magical gifts I got.

The perfect body, the perfect face
it’s like god’s best work all in one place
But the haters hate perfection
Can’t you see.

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.

How in a world that’s so imperfect
did I wind up with so much cool
Friends never stick around too long
they never feel like they belong
next to me they feel like a fool.

I’ve got the grace of a dancer, a golden voice
people seem to hate me like I had a choice
Being this blessed is a lonely way to be.

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.

Like me.

So you say you wanna hang around
don’t ever ask me to turn it down
I’m a diamond I’m gonna shine
compared to everyone else
I’m like a whole damn diamond mine.

Ohh yeah...

I’m just a Maserati in a world of Kias
‘genius’ wouldn’t describe any of my ideas
If I was born in 1453 Leonardo Da Vinci would be jealous of me
but a world of stevie wonders would never see.

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.
				

I want to tell you 'bout something fun
So I wrote you this song
If you've ever been to Disneyland
You know the lines can be real long
But I got a ride that the bitches love
And you won't have to wait at all
All you've got to do is ditch your boyfriend
And give sexy Michael Starr a call

I'll take your ass for a weenie ride
Spread your cheeks and swallow your pride
It's scary like a rollercoaster
It will stretch you out so wide

Gonna take your ass for a weenie ride
Hold on tight 'cause I'm coming inside
It's better than a ferris wheel or a water slide
It's a weenie ride

I want to sing about a thing that's funner than a swing and better than the
Monkey bars
You can take it on the couch or your water bed or in the back of your
Daddy's car
And it's open all day, night time too, seven fucking days a week
It only shuts down intermittently so I can take a leak

So put that snatch on a weenie ride
Ride her face down or on your side
You'll be amazed what you can fit in there
When some leverage is applied
Open your legs for a weenie ride
You won't be the first to see it and cry
Just bring the baby wipes and some astroglide
It's a weenie ride

Oh yeah

Scream for me

Honey, won't you try the weenie ride
You're never gonna be the same
Baby, how you gonna get to Heaven if you can't take a little pain?

Step right up for a weenie ride
It's even more fun when you're gagged and tied
Oops, I think I got a little DNA
All over your backside

Go on and tell your friends about the weenie ride
You can charge admission, baby, I don't mind
Even with the big old muff you won't get tonight
For the weenie ride

Ooh

Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Come spread your
Thighs)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh
Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh ooh)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride,
Yeah)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Baby, baby, baby)
It's a weenie ride
				

Every night I'd party till I was stupid stumbling drunk
And the walls were drenched in vomit spit and other peoples spunk
And an endless line of 18 year old stripper druggie whores
Would be winding to my bunk, from right outside the tour bus doors
But I couldn't help but want, for something just a little more

That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me away

I was looking for a woman, more beautiful than most
And not just in the retouched facebook selfies that they post
Who'd refrain from talking only of herself when in my bed
Not that I'd ever consider it, but someone I could wed
I needed someone just like me, but I got idiots instead

That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me away

Of all the girls I've ever known, you show me things no one could ever show me
It doesn't matter where you go, you'll always be the one I want to blow me
Cause you blow me away

I was ready to retire, maybe move to Mexico
One too many rockers parties, one too many skanky hoes
After all the critics said, our debut record was our peak
Now I couldn't hit the high notes, sometimes I couldn't even speak
But the band had dates in Germany, for just another week

That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me away
That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me
That's when you came in and blew me away
				

[Spoken]
				

I would give you the stars in the sky
But they're too far away
If you were a hooker, you'd know
I'd be happy to pay
If suddenly you were a guy
I'd be suddenly gay

'Cause my heart belongs to you
My love is pure and true
My heart belongs to you
But my cock is community property

You're the only girl that I like to screw
When I'm not on the road
When I come home, my dinner's made
And the front lawn is mowed
I'll kiss your mouth
Even after you swallow my load

'Cause my heart belongs to you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do, for you
My heart belongs to you
But my cock is community property

I wanna make it clear
So you retain it
My dick's a free spirit
And you can't restrain it
No, you just can't chain it down

I love you so much it hurts
From my head to my feet
I think of you and I can't
Help but fondle my meat
I see your face every time
That I go out and cheat

'Cause my heart belongs to you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
My heart belongs to you
But my dong is community property
Yeah, yeah, yeah
				

[Spoken]
				

Alright!
Yeah!
C-c-come on!

Fuck the Goo Goo Dolls, they can suck my balls
They look like the dogs that hang out at the mall

Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre
They can suck each other just because they're gay
They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack
Everybody shout, "Heavy metal's back!"

Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal

Death to Papa Roach, Blink 182
All those fucking pussies sounds like doggy-doo
Wearing baggy pants, spiking up their hair
They're not worth the crust on my underwear

Where is Def Leppard? Where is Mötley Crüe?
Why do all my lyrics sound like Dr. Seuss?

Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal

Kills those fucking fuckheads who programme MTV
They can suck my ass with all the record companies

Death to Britney Spears, kill the little slut
Kill Madonna too and then fuck her in the butt
Fuck Mariah Carey, death to Sheryl Crowe
They can kiss each other on the camel toe
50 Cent's a fag, so is Kanye West
Shooting hot sperm on each others' chest

Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal