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We All Die (Laughing)

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INITIATION – AN EMPTY SHELL:

This was the first time
This was the first time in a lifetime
A whole lifetime
That I felt the need to tame
Tame the best inside, lurking behind shades
Into darkness where it should have remained

This was the first time
This was the first time in a lifetime
A whole lifetime
That I felt such a shame
Shame of being this hollow thing I am
The selfish piece of flesh, this empty shell

The first time in a lifetime

You weren’t meant to feel this
I wasn’t meant to feel this
We both met hidden sides of who we seem to be
This side we never show to others
This side we barely dare to whisper

I feel this inner fire, the same warmth I need
The personal fire
Catharsis through pain
and redemption

Redeem me, Father
For I am a foul soul
Feel my burns, Mother
For this is my deepest essence

This is me
Not a lie
Another real me
The sordid part that
sometimes wants to die
Me the second
Me again
The Me you thought you’d never see
Narcissus defaced behind
the glorious clown
How do you do? Enchanté...
That’s me

Me is a pathetic soul
A lonely bullied
Is a damn forced adult when
me is still a crying child

A godless, faithless man
just searching for salvation
Is an importance whore
And attention whore

INNER JIGSAW:

Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside (Thoughtscan)
Witness
Witnes vs. spy eyes (Thoughtscan)
Love / Hate
Love / Hate, Pain / love
Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside

Consciousness of an inner mental war
Morbid visions, figures of the selves, whores
Suspicions, fear and hate, around his world
A huge desire of feeling it, sore, more

We all are the products of mothers not gifted
Bound to reproduce their endless mistakes
Monkey see, I say monkey do
You do as you’re told then you end in the blue

Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside (Thoughtscan)
Witness
Witnes vs. spy eyes (Thoughtscan)
Love / Hate
Love / Hate, Pain / love
Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside

The goal is not always to analyze
The goal is to go ahead
There is a time to forget all compromise
The action is go.

THE ACTION IS GO:

Go
Let go, let go, let go, I’ve got to let it go
Let go, let go, let go, let yourself go

My mouth is opened, a face remembering the Earth
A silence of gold and a motherless birth
A selfish destruction, greed of pain
A mental distortion, the rites insane

(and I try) To feel the same fire
The warmth of my deception
And I try to keep my own self up
Death, but I refuse its light

I won’t shift, no I won’t deny
The mistakes I made, I won’t try to hide
My real nature, the essence of I
The is me (that) I despise, the being I try
To improve
Before I’m doomed

LA QUESTION:

“- Alors j'avale, j'avale pas, c'est ça tous vos problèmes? Putain, mais moi je croyais que d'avoir de gros cerveaux comme les vôtres, ça servait à passer le cap digestif! À se poser deux, trois questions!
Du genre?
Du genre "Qu'est-ce que je ferais si j'étais moins con!?" Si ça se trouve la réponse elle est peut-être pas au dessus de vos forces. Encore faut-il se poser la question!”

Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside (Thoughtscan)
Witness
Witnes vs. spy eyes (Thoughtscan)
Love / Hate
Love / Hate, Pain / love
Jigsaw
Jigsaw pieces inside

A WORLD OF CIRCLES:

I’ve been living in a world of circles
Down in self-inflicted lies
I turn and I turn and I turn around
But I’m still looking for what’s to be found

Time helps nothing
Time heals nothing
(It’s a tale that’s) been only told to cure the naive
We’re dying as were born:
Naked, blank, meaningless

Neither better nor worse.
The warmth of my deception
And I try to keep my own self up
Death, but I refuse His Light

This is not the way I should be walking the Earth
This is the same fire eating me alive
A do-it-yourself solution of survival
A will to find a way beyond this horizon

This is not the way I should be walking the Earth
This is the same fire eating me alive
Is your way my way? Do I have to walk your path?
If your shoes fit let me walk in mine

Just listen to me for once and shut your mouth
You’re living in a world of shit, from north to south
(For) fuck’s sake, stop the caugh and laugh with us, smile!
Until it hurts much and you’ll cry
This is a sign of life, a lie to die for
A sight to go blind for

I’m tired of your shit, to be covered of your spit
Maybe I will get crazy out if this? I won’t be sorry
I calculated your body, I’ll divide it in cubes
And while I’m here, open your bitch ears and fuck you

We are all products of mothers not gifted
Bound to reproduce their endless mistakes
Monkey see, I say monkey do
You do as you’re told and you end in the blue

Neither better nor worse
The warmth of my deception
I try to keep my own self up
Death, but I refuse its light

This is the last time

TERMINATION – A LIVING SHELL:

This was the first time
This was the first time in a lifetime
A whole lifetime
(But) I ain’t feeling no more shame
Shame of being this hollow thing I am
A selfish piece of flesh, this living shell

A living shell. 
				
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Back to black

Amy Winehouse's song

She left no time to regret
She kept her pussy wet
With her same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my wife
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to him
And I go back to.....

I go back to us

I love you much
It's not enough
He loves to blow and I love even much
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to him
And I go back to

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to him
And I go back to

Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to him
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to him
And I go back to black 
				
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